Like most ‘attractive young people in New York’ sitcoms, How I Met Your Mother is all about the friendships. Yes, it’s about romance (and the never-ending search for it), but while boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, it’s the core group of friends that give the show its heart and soul.
Except that, when you start to look at little closer at some of these ‘friendships’, they aren’t quite as heartwarming as that opening montage of bar photos would have us believe. Even the two main characters who hold it all together, Ted and Marshall, are actually pretty terrible to each other. Sure, it’s a sitcom, and it’s exaggerated for comedic effect, but still - are these guys actually friends?
They’re Basically Just Leftovers From College
Ted and Marshall met when they were college roommates, which is lovely, but that was a long time ago - and for most of the series, it seems like they are really just friends because they always have been. They’ve been roommates since they first moved out, so they’ve just kind of… stuck with that dynamic, even when it doesn’t work. And even in college, they weren’t exactly that great - they were constantly making fun of each other even then, and just learned to get along because they had to.
They Need Alcohol To Stay Friends
Sure, people in their 20s in New York often drink and hang out at bars, but there are definitely times when we are left wondering how much of this friendship is reliant on the fact that they are always drinking - and enjoying their ‘sandwiches’ together. In fact, when they have the most fun, they are usually drunk or high. When they are squabbling and making fun of each other, they are sober. Yikes.
Marshall Thinks Ted Is Pretentious
Admittedly, a lot of fans of the show also thought that Ted was a bit pretentious. But aside from his incredibly annoying pronunciation of ’encyclopedia’, was he pretentious, or just someone with different interests? He loved poetry, opera, art, and design - which isn’t pretentious, so much as just… interesting. Friends shouldn’t constantly put friends down for being ‘pretentious’, because friendships are supposed to be based on respect.
Ted Ditched Marshall For Barney (Because He Wasn’t Single)
Yes, it may have been tough to deal with the fact that Marshall fell for Lily at the very start of college, and they stayed together ever since, but Ted ditched his ‘friend’ on multiple occasions because Marshall wasn’t single.
The relationship-obsessed Ted would suit up and head out with Barney to try and get laid, and more than once, Marshall was upset about not being invited or considered as a wingman. Excluding your ‘best friend’ for his happy relationship? Wow, Ted.
Marshall Let Barney Steal Ted’s Identity
Of course, Marshall did go out with Ted and Barney sometimes, and when he did, he wasn’t always the best friend to either of them. On one particularly memorable occasion, Barney decided to steal Ted’s identity to ‘prove’ that architects are sexy… and Marshall just let him. Despite the fact that this could have caused serious trouble for Ted (and almost ended his relationship), and Barney could have proved the same thing by using his own name, Marshall found Barney’s antics funny.
Ted Totally Ignored Marshall’s Exams To Try And Get Laid
Back to Ted… and the fact that his obsession with getting laid didn’t just mean he left Marshall behind, it also meant that he was willing to sacrifice Marshall’s future. In one memorable episode when Ted is first trying to get with Robin, he makes up a party at his place as an excuse to get her to come over. Which would be fine, except that Marshall had a hugely important paper to write for law school, and Ted bullied him into having a three-day party on the off chance he might get laid.
They Are Stuck In The Past
This comes along with being college roommates - but while some people are able to maintain a friendship and evolve together, these two are firmly lodged in the past. From their trips to Chicago to eat terrible pizza (because they have good memories of it), to constant (and largely unchanging) inside jokes, to their love of ‘sandwiches’ to feel like they are back in that dorm room, these two need to grow up. As Marshall might say ‘as we mature, the relationship matures with us’. Except for Marshall and Ted, it doesn’t.
They Don’t Support Each Other’s Romantic Relationships
Friends should be there for each other, and support each other… but when it comes to relationships, neither Ted nor Marshall is really that supportive. When Marshall first meets Lily, Ted tells him not to settle too soon, and despite the fact that they become close over the years, Ted’s also quick to turn on Lily after she goes to San Francisco.
Marshall, meanwhile, may sound encouraging to Ted, but in almost all his actual relationships, Marshall warns him off. Admittedly, some of these may be justified - both Karen and Jeanette were pretty awful, but we’d still expect a little more support.
Marshall Convinced Ted He Would Go To Jail
Haha, what a fun ‘prank’! Marshall, despite being significantly more of an adult than both Ted and Barney, still has a real petty streak - and it came out in ‘The Fight’. When Ted and Barney were believed to have got into a bar fight alongside Doug, they got served for assault… and went to Marshall, a friend who is also a lawyer. Instead of reassuring them, Marshall (angry that no one thought he was as cool, because he didn’t fight) straight up told them they would go to jail.
They Hate Each Other’s Hobbies
It’s not just Marshall who thinks that Ted is pretentious - Ted is far from encouraging of Marshall’s hobbies, either. He puts down his attempts at stand up (but lies to his face about it, rather than offer helpful feedback), he makes fun of his all-lawyer funk band, and he even makes fun of Marshall’s upbringing. For two people who are meant to be best friends, you would think they should have more in common than an address and a favorite bar.
They Actually Bring Out The Worst In Each Other
Even if we are being a little bit harsh with this list (the two do have some of their sweet moments, too!), it seems pretty clear that these two don’t really balance each other out, or bring out the best in each other. Along with Barney, they seem to encourage each other’s worst behaviors - Marshall wants to do a little vicarious living, and loves it when Ted is drunk and trying to pick up women, and Ted likes to get in the way of Marshall’s actual career to keep him stuck in their college day past. These guys might do well if they saw each other every once in a while, but as a daily friendship? They would probably be much happier without each other.
