Everyone’s a hopeless romantic to someone or their stalker. How I Met Your Mother defined this as the Dobbler / Dahomey Effect. Unless you enjoy all of the romantic things your stalker is doing, you’re genuinely a little put off. For fans of the show, hopeless romantic Ted Mosby is on a grand quest, but along the way he does a lot of questionable things that according to the viewers may or may not actually be romantic.
No matter what you might think about Ted’s never-ending string of supposed romantic gestures, he also has pulled some less than questionable, downright mean antics. Here are the 10 Worst Things Ted Has Ever Done On How I Met Your Mother.
Cheated On Victoria
If you’ve ever attempted a long-distance relationship, you know that it’s rough and it stinks. If you’ve ever been cheated on, it’s a huge kick to the psyche and self-esteem. In some ways, it’s the ultimate betrayal no matter how long you’ve been dating or whatever problems your relationship might have.
But what does Ted care - he just wants what he wants when he wants it, regardless of anyone else’s feelings. He wanted Victoria (since he couldn’t have Robin). Then he had to deal with dating her long-distance, then he could have Robin, but was too much of a cad to break up with Victoria over the phone, so he nearly cheated on her before Robin but a stop to it.
Broke Up With Natalie On Her Birthday, Twice
After seeing an old shirt that he now likes, Ted decides he’s going to reconsider women he’s dated in the past. Girls like Natalie, who he once broke up with…ON…HER…BIRTHDAY! Via voicemail, that her whole family heard.
While Ted was a still a jerk for doing this, all because he was “super busy,” Natalie must’ve been a glutton for punishment, because she decided to give Mosby another shot. This time around, Teddy Westside wasn’t super busy, but he didn’t feel a spark with Natalie and decided to the honorable thing and break it off, but it just happened to be her birthday, again.
Pressures Robin Into Dating Him
She said yes, so it’s sort of her own fault; but Ted just refused to leave Robin alone, refused to give up until she finally said yes to dating the guy. For all we know, she might have been fearing for her life if she had said no.
But even though she most certainly knew they were headed for disaster, she went with it anyway and more or less changed a lot about herself for a guy that broke into her house with an orchestra waiting for her.
Made Robin Get Rid Of Her Dogs
In the early seasons, Robin had five dogs. In her tiny little Brooklyn apartment. Once Ted found out that the dogs all came from ex-boyfriends, he lost his cool (understandably) and forced her to get rid of them (not understandably at all).
But that was after Robin had discovered that just about all of Ted’s stuff came from ex-girlfriends and when she asked him to get rid of all it but instead, he just hid it.
He’s A Home Wrecker
So the guy didn’t want Victoria when they first met (and she was perfect for him), so he thought it would be a good idea to try it again, ON HER WEDDING DAY! Ted, who has been left at the altar should have been a little more respectful of the guy that Victoria was dating, but instead drove off with Victoria.
When she asked Ted to stop seeing Robin, of course he clearly said no, again leaving the beautiful baker in a lurch.
The Stories He Told His Kids…
For the parents out there, as your kids get older, certainly they wonder about what you might have done in your own youth. You oblige them with stories, but in theory you know when to hold back and not reveal all of your sordid affairs and dalliances.
Ted didn’t - he thought it would be a good idea to tell them every sordid and gross detail about him and all of his friends.
…Just To Go Right Back To Robin
There’s a reason that the series finale, “The Last Forever” was so divisive. Fans spent the entire show knowing that Robin is not the Mother. When we finally saw Tracy asking for one ticket to Farhampton, a lot of fans nearly instantaneously fell right for her, along with Ted.
Yes, he loved her dearly and they fit together perfectly, but to tell your kids all of those stories just to get some sort of permission to go get the other girl seems way out of left field, even for Ted.
Lived Like Barney For A Night
Not only is Barney the worst influence a friend could have, but the train completely derails once Ted is involved. In “No Tomorrow,” Ted ditches Marshall and Lily, along with Barney ditches their dates, and is generally the worst human being on the planet.
It’s up to his real friend, Marshall the next morning to point out that Ted basically committed credit card fraud and kissed a married woman. Luckily, even Ted didn’t want to be this much of a jerk and thanked Marshall for setting him straight.
Called Lily A “Grinch”
There are some words that should never be used, especially when referring to your best friend’s ex-fiancé, who is also supposedly one of your best friends too. But after Lily left Marshall, she also left Ted to pick up the pieces of a broken man.
One day when he was fed up (and you can’t blame him), he referred to Lily as a “Grinch.” Future Ted lets his kids know that Grinch wasn’t the word he actually used. On top of that, once Lily found out, he still refused to apologize for his verbiage.
Can’t Remember A Girl He Dated
New York is a big place and the dating could sometimes seem like a giant shark tank, but most people still remember everyone they’ve ever gone on a date with, for better or worse. Ted and his blind date, Jen couldn’t remember being set up with one another years earlier.
While the pair took advantage and chatted about what went wrong with their first date, the fact that Ted couldn’t even remember he dated this woman before would be plain insulting to anyone.
Next: How I Met Your Mother: 5 Couples That Are Perfect Together (& 5 That Make No Sense)
